book.chapter Building reliability

Throughout the annals of human history, the most profound moments of enlightenment and learning have emerged when individuals have boldly chosen to forge their own paths, to live according to their own unique principles, rather than meekly treading the well-worn paths laid out by the masses. This same concept holds true on a personal scale; to surpass the ordinary, one must cultivate an independent spirit and possess the courage to distinguish oneself from the crowd. A life marked by productivity is not the result of grand, sweeping gestures, but rather the culmination of a series of small, deliberate daily decisions. There exists a vast chasm between merely fantasizing about a life filled with purpose and the tangible reality of living such a life. The instincts of the human brain incline us towards the comfort of routine, and without the deliberate intervention of our intellect to counter this predisposition, we find ourselves ensnared in a cycle of repetition, reliving the past over and over. To break free from this natural aversion to change, one should pose the following introspective questions to oneself: "What is the single most extraordinary achievement I have realized this week?" and "What is the single most extraordinary goal I am setting for myself for the coming week?" By establishing a ritual of a weekly self-reflection session to ponder these questions, one can sidestep the trap of settling into a complacent routine that offers no impetus for personal growth. This practice also serves to recognize and appreciate the support and contributions of others in our personal journey each week. Orison Marden once remarked, "Deep within humans dwell those slumbering powers; powers that would astonish them, that they never dreamed of possessing; forces that would revolutionize their lives if aroused and put into action." Indeed, the pinnacle of reasoning and the most brilliant flashes of creativity are ignited when the three centers of human intelligence—the brain, the heart, and the gut—operate in a harmonious and synergistic fashion. The brain within our cranium is hardwired to perceive the negative, to be vigilant against potential dangers, and to magnify adverse messages while remaining alert to threats to our well-being, living by the adage "Better safe than sorry." The brain within our heart is constantly scanning for new possibilities and a deeper comprehension of what is truly significant to us. With each novel idea, it assesses the level of coherence with our personal value system and then disseminates those feelings throughout our nervous system as the blood circulates. The brain within our gut, whether we are conscious of it or not, generates a visceral response to every interaction we encounter in life—be it a sensation of tension or excitement in our intestines. These gut feelings then shape our subsequent actions. Our most judicious decisions are made when we consider the feedback from all three components of this gut-heart-brain dynamic. Whenever we are faced with a choice, it is imperative to contemplate what our gut and heart are contributing to our mind's insights. Our choices will invariably be more sound if they are in harmony with the input from all three intelligence centers. Life is not a zero-sum game where the success of one necessitates the failure of another. Rather than engaging in competition, our focus should be on what is necessary for us to personally excel—to stretch beyond and surpass our own previous bests, rather than attempting to outdo the bests of others. When we concentrate on excelling, the strength of any opposition becomes inconsequential. What becomes paramount is our capacity to consistently operate at the zenith of our abilities for sustained periods. This endeavor also demands the fortitude of character to remain acutely observant, to recognize our weaknesses, and to accentuate our strengths and passions. "Yes, there are times when the gold medal is awarded solely to the victor. But not in the race of life, where the victors are those who are superior not to others but to their former selves. In excelling, you conserve time and energy that would otherwise be expended in comparing yourself to others and engaging in conflict with them, and you redirect that time and energy towards being your best," asserts Robert Cooper. Living in a manner that aligns with your personal beliefs and value system ensures that you invest not only your intellect but also your heart into your endeavors, thereby increasing your chances of success. How can one monitor progress in this regard? One should ask oneself, "What are the five values that hold the utmost importance to me personally, and that I would like others to associate with me when they think of me?" This straightforward exercise prompts an individual to pause and reconnect with those defining character traits. It also allows for reflection on how well these values are being embodied and what adjustments may be necessary to realign with them in the future. You might even consider asking others to describe what they perceive as your distinguishing values and compare their perceptions with your own. The discrepancies can be quite revealing. Robert Cooper advises, "Keep demonstrating what you value. Exhibit it in your actions and in the way you interact with people. Lower the facade. Be more transparent and invite others to gain a deeper understanding of what is most important to you, both professionally and personally. Let them witness you embracing new challenges and drawing upon your values in difficult times. Let your light shine for all to see, and make it known that you recognize their light as well." In the book "The Other 90%," page 2, the message is clear: Be authentic to your belief system, trust in yourself, and utilize the collective wisdom of your gut, heart, and mind. No one must suffer a loss for you to achieve victory. Strive to be original and accomplish the spectacular. Dare to place your trust in yourself and in others. Always seek out the greatness in those around you. Trust provides an emotional fortitude that enhances efficiency and productivity. It typically begins with a sense of purpose or a feeling of self-worth and is then reinforced through small gestures—a personal note, an article from a newspaper or magazine, a simple gift, or just a few kind words. When you trust in your ability to follow through on your commitments, your capacity to transition from one issue to the next is greatly improved. Similarly, when you trust in others, or perhaps more importantly, when others sense that you trust them, they are more inclined to collaborate with you. How does one cultivate trust? By demonstrating empathy and recognizing what truly matters to others. By understanding that trust is built one brief interaction at a time, as the cumulative result of numerous interactions. By speaking in measured tones and thinking before speaking, so others are assured that you are attentive to your words. By being explicit about time constraints and explaining to others how much or how little time you have at your disposal. If feasible, conduct all business conversations while seated rather than standing, as this simple act can make people feel less hurried and more open to establishing a relationship based on trust. Gandhi once stated, "Among the most essential qualities of the human spirit are to trust oneself and to build trust with others." Every human being harbors greatness within them; the challenge often lies in looking beyond superficial appearances to uncover that inner spark. How can this be achieved? By taking the time each week to send handwritten notes to your business associates, expressing gratitude for their contributions. By being willing to reciprocate when you request someone to take on additional responsibilities. By paying attention to people's names, learning a bit about their history and significance, which acknowledges their individuality and provides an opportunity for connection. By maintaining good eye contact, lifting your head, and acknowledging others with a direct gaze, which allows for an instant personal connection. By giving people the recognition they deserve through genuine, personalized public praise. By requesting the recognition and respect you deserve by specifying the form of acknowledgment that resonates most with you. Ultimately, your ability to progress and move forward is intertwined with your ability to recognize and appreciate the greatness in others. It may not always be easy to remember this, but those who do are invariably more productive and effective in their endeavors. As Margaret Mead poignantly observed, "Always remember you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else." And as Samuel Johnson wisely noted, "He who praises everybody, praises nobody."