book.chapter Tactic #1 – reciprocity.

The principle of reciprocity is one of the most powerful tools of persuasion. When you give something first, you trigger an obligation in the receiver to repay the favor. The initial gift does not need to be extravagant. Even small favors or gifts can create a sense of indebtedness and push the receiver to reciprocate. Robert Cialdini, a pioneering researcher on the psychology of influence, called reciprocity "one of the most potent weapons of influence." The rule possesses "awesome strength," he wrote, often eliciting a positive response when a request would otherwise be refused. Social science confirms the strength of reciprocal obligations. In one study, a supermarket saw a spike in cheese sales when they put out free cheese samples for customers to try. The small gift of a free taste made buyers much more likely to purchase cheese themselves. Another company, Amway, grew to over $1.5 billion in revenue by giving away free product samples, like cleaning supplies and personal care items. Few people who accepted the free gifts refused to place an order. The principle of reciprocity has roots in religious and cultural traditions around the world. From Christianity's Golden Rule to the Islamic hadith about not wronging those who do you no harm, many societies encourage reciprocal treatment. When you give a gift, the receiver feels compelled to return the favor in some way. Initiating this cycle of favors gives you leverage. A classic example is the Hare Krishna Society's airport solicitation technique. A member will approach travelers and hand them a flower, which the rushed traveler will often accept reflexively. When the traveler tries to return the flower, the member will insist it is a gift. Feeling obligated, many travelers will then make a small donation. This repeats as the member retrieves the discarded flowers for the next target. A minor gift triggers a disproportionate return. However, reciprocity can also enable manipulative or unfair exchanges. The initial favor does not need to be comparable to what is requested in return. In one study, an interviewer who gave subjects a dime Coke saw a spike in $0.25 raffle ticket purchases. The Coke cost the interviewer ten cents, but triggered a 250% return on investment. A sales tactic called "rejection-then-retreat" leverages reciprocity in a clever way. The salesperson starts with a premium offer, which the customer rejects. The salesperson then retreats to a more affordable option. After the concession, reciprocity motivates the customer to meet them halfway and agree to the smaller ask. This is more effective than leading with the smaller ask, because: The second offer looks much cheaper in contrast to the first. Making the premium offer first means the salesperson gets a second chance. Either offer results in a sale. The retreat positions the second offer as a concession from the salesperson, obligating the customer to reciprocate. If you recognize someone using this rejection-then-retreat approach, you can neutralize it by acknowledging the tactic. Refuse any initial gifts and make clear you do not feel any obligation to make a purchase in return. Removing the reciprocal pressure gives you freedom to evaluate the offers objectively. In summary, reciprocity is a powerful tool of interpersonal influence. Even small initial favors can create a sense of indebtedness and obligation to return the gesture. While reciprocity enables cooperation and mutually beneficial exchanges, it can also be exploited unethically. By understanding the triggers of reciprocal behavior, we can harness this social norm productively while safeguarding against manipulation.