The art of negotiation

Effective negotiators balance calm and alertness, patience and proaction. Controlling your emotions leads to better outcomes. Prepare emotionally by considering what emotions you typically feel before, during and after negotiations, what triggers them, and how to respond productively. Aspire to feel satisfied at the conclusion. As Michael Wheeler states, few prepare emotionally, so doing so provides an edge. Use jazz improvisation as a metaphor. Jazz musicians listen closely, take turns leading, and inject energy by being provocative. Similarly, negotiators should listen actively, relinquish and retake the flow, and stir things up to abandon the status quo. Other performance arts provide additional lessons: put counterpart's offers on the table to enable specifics; never negate proposals but say "No" like "Yes" to retain merit; and stay agile even when opposed.

Apply military principles like fighter pilot John Boyd's OODA loop: Observe counterparts' actions and intentions; Orient to interpret signals; Decide how to respond; Act to surface stances and adapt as needed. The quicker the loop, the better the decisions. Be flexible but not erratic, testing hypotheses and recalibrating progressively. Also utilize the military's emphasis on intent and advance planning. Clarify underlying motivations upfront to enable intelligent improvising later. Robust strategies achieve the intent. As former Israeli PM Shimon Peres stated, "A good hunter doesn't aim at the bird. If he does, he will miss. He aims ahead of the bird, anticipating its travel."

The opening of a negotiation presents an opportunity to set the tone and establish rapport. Invest time building relationships through small talk, using inclusive language like "we" and "us", and adopting an open posture. These actions facilitate collaboration versus contention. Also assess whether the other party seems friend or foe, if the negotiation will be easy or hard, and your relative power. Framing the negotiation appropriately upfront enables progress. Defining it as win-lose risks unproductive haggling. Aiming for win-win collaboration is ideal but not always feasible. Landing somewhere in the middle ground may be most pragmatic. Consider if tense contests or creative exchanges better suit the situation at hand.

Lastly, use the opening to negotiate the negotiation process itself. Will it be rushed or methodical? Rigid or flexible? Map out ground rules, meeting cadences, issues to address and when. Avoid false assumptions by explicitly discussing how talks will unfold. This streamlines negotiations down the line. Having one eye on the desired end state is wise. Rushing is unwise, as investing in relationship building early on eases tensions and facilitates better outcomes later. Carefully consider grammar and posture as well, as these can subconsciously influence counterparts' perceptions and conduct.

Negotiations are filled with tricky judgment calls about when to say "yes." Premature agreement means lost opportunities to induce further concessions. Yet holding out too long risks stalemate or withdrawal of an attractive offer. The optimal approach is to progressively ask for improvements but remain attuned to subtle hints. Ensure potential gains outweigh risks before requesting further sweeteners. How you say "yes" also matters. For example:

- This cements the relationship going forward, laying groundwork for future collaboration. It signals comprehension of the situation. - This makes your counterpart look good to their supervisor by implying maximum value extraction. Expressing gratitude also strengthens ties. - This provisionally accepts the deal while still angling for more as a favor. If declined, the original agreement stands. - Giving conditional assent focuses attention on resolving the final open point rather than questioning the entire negotiation.

Anticipating last-minute complications helps negotiate them smoothly when closing deals. As tensions escalate, consider substituting impartial closers if relationships fray. With mutual goodwill, parties can collaboratively navigate final snags. Skilled negotiators exploit differences to create value through flexibility and creativity. Generate mutually beneficial solutions, then allocate the surplus. Differences in priorities, expectations, and time horizons all represent opportunities to add value and enrich agreements for both sides. Breaking deadlocks often requires stepping back to see things from a new angle. Use analogies to past successes to spark insights. Incentives for ongoing collaboration can also dissolve barriers.