book.chapter Fundamental face method

A multitude of individuals have persuaded themselves of their incapacity to retain names, which results in their failure to even attempt. A more advantageous strategy would be to emulate a professional athlete who engages in mental preparation prior to a significant sporting event. Enter interactions with new acquaintances with the conviction that you possess a commendable memory, rather than experiencing trepidation each time you are presented with someone's name. The initial step is to direct your attention toward accurately apprehending the other individual's name upon hearing it. To augment your capacity to concentrate, you should, if feasible, prepare by perusing a list of attendees in advance, if one is accessible, or by resolving to make the most favorable impression possible when meeting someone unfamiliar. Adopt a positive stance rather than a negative one by focusing on the advantages of networking with the individuals you meet, rather than on your apprehensions that you may fail to recall their name subsequently. View each encounter with a new person as a potential opportunity to further your career, as you can never be certain of the role that person may play in your future. Be cognizant of the moment when you meet someone new, so that you remind yourself to concentrate on correctly capturing their name, rather than being preoccupied with your appearance, what clever remark you might make, or any other distraction. Concentrate on observing the person you are meeting, on listening to their name, and on disregarding all else. Prepare a solid introduction, where you shake hands with the other person and truly take note of their name. This is not the time to be distracted by other events in the room. Instead, you need to ensure with absolute certainty that you have correctly understood the other person's name from the beginning. If possible, you might even pretend that you did not hear the name correctly the first time and ask for it to be repeated. Or, some individuals make it a practice to maintain their handshake until they have clearly heard the other person's name. Despite the apparent simplicity of this first step, it is astonishing how many people fail to devote their full attention to capturing the other person's name accurately in the first place. In such cases, it is hardly surprising that they encounter difficulties in remembering the name later on. It is futile to attempt to remember someone's name in the future if you do not even know it while the person is standing right beside you. You need to lay a solid foundation for the future by focusing on getting the name right the first time you hear it. Focus on the moment. Even if you are confident that you heard the name correctly the first time, it is crucial that you pose a question to hear it again. Why is this important? Many names bear resemblance to one another, and you need to ascertain whether the name is Jean or Eugene. It is preferable to confirm the name right at the beginning, rather than later when you have been conversing with the person for some time. This is the difference between indicating that you did not catch their name and demonstrating that you have forgotten it. By inquiring further, you enhance the likelihood of remembering their name in the future. It flatters the person you meet that you are making an effort to get their name right. Fortunately, there are numerous self-effacing ways to accomplish this, such as apologizing for not catching the name and asking for clarification, or expressing interest in the correct spelling of their name, especially if it could be spelled in various ways. You can even express your enthusiasm for remembering names and ask for their assistance in getting it right. Most people will appreciate rather than resent the attention you give to their names. You can tell them that you have recently read a book about remembering names and request their help. People will enjoy this, as it feeds their ego, making them feel valued because you are making a sincere effort to remember their name. When you ask them to elaborate on the background of their name, most people will relish the attention, and you may even hear some colorful stories that will aid in remembering their name in the future. By this stage, you have concentrated on hearing the other person's name and have inquired about it in some manner. The basic information is now in place. What is needed next is additional information so you can associate this person's name with something or someone you already know well. Ideally, you would make a comment that is pleasant, humorous, socially adept, or informative, and you would put them at ease by creating an opportunity for them to do the same. Thus, you might engage in a dialogue such as introducing yourself as Benjamin and the stranger responding with their name, Alex. You could then clarify whether they said Alec or Alex, and upon confirmation that it is indeed Alex, short for Alexander, you would link that name with something familiar to you. For instance, if you are a history enthusiast, you might think of Alexander Graham Bell or Alexander the Great. If you are a sports aficionado, perhaps Alex Rodriguez comes to mind. If you are a fan of television trivia, you might recall Alex Keaton from "Family Ties" or Alex Trebek from "Jeopardy." If you have a musical inclination, you might think of a well-known group like Alexander's Ragtime Band. Alternatively, you might associate the name with a politician, actor, singer, line of poetry, character in a novel, song title, or a family member with the same name. To reinforce this association and ensure you have everything correct, you could then make a comment, either aloud or to yourself, such as acknowledging Alex as the character from "Family Ties." This act of making a connection routes the name into your brain with more emphasis than would normally occur, thereby increasing the likelihood that you will remember the name in the future. In scientific terms, memory is a physical process where information from the cerebral cortex is received through nerve cells, or neurons, which send chemical and electrical impulses. By commenting, you signal to the brain that this information needs to be stored for future use rather than discarded. You create more neuron strings, which are the building blocks of long-term memory. Thus, the act of commenting initiates all the mental processes from which long-term memory is constructed. The final step is to use the person's name in a manner that is natural, friendly, and logical. Some caution is necessary in this area, as overuse of the name can be off-putting. You need to be judicious, incorporating the person's name into the conversation as if you are speaking with an old friend rather than attempting to set a new record for using the name as many times as possible. To achieve this in practice, you can look for natural openings, such as offering to refill their glass or asking if they have tried the food yet, using their name. You can attach the person's name to the end of the sentence to make it sound more friendly and casual. You can use the other person's name in conversation, for example, by referencing something they said. You can introduce the new person to other acquaintances, providing a straightforward opportunity to use their name. You can also say goodbye using their name, with a direct expression such as expressing pleasure in meeting them. From a scientific perspective, employing the name you have just learned activates a new string of neuron strings in your brain. By building this network, you strengthen it, which in turn increases the chances you will be able to recall the name in the future. Always remember that names are challenging to remember, so some effort will be required. Names are abstractions that offer little intrinsic value, despite their rich traditions and histories. Moreover, many people are insecure about their ability to remember names, which means that introductions may be rushed and names glossed over. Additionally, societal norms discourage staring at strangers, which can hinder the process of embedding their names into your consciousness. Therefore, take the initiative and approach meeting new people with greater confidence, using the F-A-C-E technique. Be optimistic rather than pessimistic, visualizing your progress as your untrained memory learns to better recall names. Be confident and understand that there is no physical reason why your ability to recall names should be inferior to anyone else's.