book.chapter Reflect on yourself

Before embarking on any negotiation process, it's crucial to spend some time in self-reflection. This involves asking yourself five key questions that will guide your negotiation strategy. This self-evaluation process will not only enhance your negotiation outcomes but also boost your confidence in the deal you're about to make. Remember to document your responses to these introspective questions and revisit them as necessary throughout the negotiation process. What is the issue that I need to address? Defining the problem accurately is crucial for successful negotiations. Alexandra Carter emphasizes that defining the problem is the "juicy work" and helps create the solution. To define the problem clearly and concisely, follow these steps: Write down the exact problem you want to solve on a piece of paper, making it concrete rather than abstract. Summarize the problem in one sentence, creating a clear and concise aim for the negotiation. Change any backward-looking and negative statements to forward-looking and positive ones, focusing on future goals instead of past issues. For example, "Our junior employee satisfaction rating is low" should become "We need to achieve high junior employee satisfaction levels." Turn your sentence into a question by adding how, what, who, or when, such as "What can we do to achieve high junior employee satisfaction levels?" Revise your question to broaden it, reflecting the true bigger picture issues at play, like "What can we do to make this a great place to work, and where achievers will want to come and stay?" What are my objectives in this negotiation? Understanding human needs is crucial for effective negotiation. These needs, which are the driving force behind our behaviors, can be categorized into two types: tangible and intangible. To identify your needs, write down your initial thoughts to the question "What do I need?" and categorize them into these two buckets. For each tangible need, ask yourself "What makes this important?" and "What does this represent for me?" to understand the underlying values. For intangible needs, visualize what fulfilling that need would look like. Remember, needs are not the demands themselves, but the reasons behind those demands. The concept of human needs is often explained through Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, which categorizes needs into physiological, safety, love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization. This hierarchy suggests that basic needs must be satisfied before higher-level needs can be addressed. However, Maslow later clarified that the satisfaction of needs is not an "all-or-none" phenomenon, and multiple needs can motivate behavior simultaneously. The order of needs can also be flexible based on individual differences and external circumstances. Therefore, understanding your needs in the context of this hierarchy can provide valuable insights for negotiation. How do I feel about this situation? Feelings play a crucial role in negotiations, influencing decision-making and overall outcomes. It's essential to acknowledge and understand your emotions before entering a negotiation. This self-awareness can help clarify your priorities and guide your approach. By identifying your feelings, you can devise strategies to mitigate any negative emotions that could potentially derail the negotiation. For instance, if you're feeling anxious, you might brainstorm ways to alleviate this anxiety, leading to practical solutions for moving forward. Moreover, acknowledging your emotions can prevent them from undermining your negotiation. If you suppress your feelings, they could unexpectedly erupt, disrupting the negotiation process. By recognizing and managing your emotions, you can harness their power to achieve better results. Writing down your feelings as part of your negotiation preparation can be beneficial. This practice can help you connect with your emotions, enabling you to tap into positive feelings such as excitement or joy. If you're struggling to identify your feelings, consider common emotions experienced by negotiators, such as guilt or fear, which often disrupt negotiations. How have I managed similar situations in the past? One of the best ways to prepare for a negotiation is to reflect on past successes and learn from them. By recalling successful strategies and having a positive frame of reference, you can prime yourself to think creatively and approach the negotiation with confidence. This can lead to better outcomes and a more empowered mindset during the negotiation process. Creating a mental montage of past successes can help you relive the feelings of achievement and joy, further boosting your confidence and readiness for the upcoming negotiation. If you struggle to recall past successes or feel like an impostor, it's essential to recognize this mindset and seek external perspectives. Speaking with friends or colleagues can provide valuable insights into your true contributions and help you develop a more accurate self-assessment. Remember that negotiation is about asking the right questions and understanding both yourself and the other party well enough to create value for both sides. By learning from past experiences and asking the right questions, you can improve your negotiation skills and achieve better outcomes in future negotiations. What is the initial step I need to take? Alexandra Carter emphasizes the importance of self-examination in designing your ideal future and determining the first step for the other party to take. This is crucial for building momentum and facilitating cumulative negotiations. To identify the best first step, Carter suggests a thorough self-assessment, considering your goals, needs, feelings, and past successes. This process will provide clarity and direction, enabling you to solve your issue effectively. Carter's 'in-the-mirror' questions guide this self-assessment. First, understand your negotiation goal and identify logical steps forward. Second, review your needs and visualize the outcomes that would meet them. Third, acknowledge your feelings about the negotiation and use them to guide your decisions. Fourth, reflect on past successes for inspiration and learning. Finally, identify a good first step to build momentum. Carter's 'Mirror' concept reveals the deeper concerns driving disputes, providing clarity for the negotiation. Nikhil Seth also highlights the importance of understanding the other party's perspective in successful negotiations.