book.chapter Ascending as a giver

Individuals who are successful in giving have a unique approach to the four main activities that are crucial in today's business environment. Their distinctive methods of networking, collaborating, evaluating, and influencing often propel them to the top of the corporate ladder. Even if you don't naturally have a giving disposition, adopting their successful strategies can significantly improve your career prospects. By learning from givers, you can understand what they are doing correctly and use that knowledge to your advantage. Building connections Networking is a strategic tool that offers access to confidential information, a variety of skills, and power and influence. Individuals approach networking differently, often influenced by their inherent tendencies as takers, matchers, or givers. Takers aim to expand their networks widely, using connections to promote their achievements and boost their self-importance. Matchers, in contrast, network with the expectation of reciprocal favors, engaging in a balanced give-and-take with their contacts. Givers like adam rifkin, hailed by fortune magazine as the world's best networker, adopt a more altruistic approach. They network with the intent to assist, categorizing connections into strong, weak, and dormant ties, and regularly rekindling these relationships to add value and potentially uncover valuable information. Rifkin's method involves offering five-minute favors without expecting anything in return, encouraging a culture of paying it forward. Contrary to the assumption that such generosity might hinder productivity, research indicates that givers can be highly productive. Their willingness to help builds trust and often leads to receiving more support from their work groups, balancing out the time spent aiding others. Influential figures like reid hoffman and ivan misner have supported the notion that altruism in networking can yield significant benefits. Keith ferrazzi, martin luther king, and mark twain have all emphasized the importance of generosity and the principle of give-and-take in building successful networks. Fostering teamwork In the realm of collaboration, the distinction between geniuses who are takers and those who are givers can be profound. Takers often immerse themselves in their own achievements, seeking to maximize their contributions while minimizing those of others. They are preoccupied with credit and recognition, focusing on a personal track record of success, sometimes at the expense of their collaborators. This self-centered approach overlooks the reality that success is typically a team effort, and their preference for claiming the lion's share of credit can make them challenging partners. Conversely, givers are the epitome of team players. They tend to understate their own roles and shine a light on the efforts of their colleagues. Givers embrace tasks that advance the group's objectives, even when these tasks don't offer them direct benefits. This approach is akin to "expedition behavior" in mountaineering, where the collective goal and empathy for team members are paramount. Givers are characterized by their generosity, selflessness, and commitment to the collective mission over individual accolades. The careers of frank lloyd wright and george meyer exemplify these contrasting collaboration styles. Wright, despite his architectural genius, saw a decline in productivity when isolated, only to rebound when he began mentoring apprentices. Meyer, on the other hand, has quietly excelled in show business, contributing to the success of "the simpsons" without seeking the spotlight. Givers like meyer foster a team environment that is safe, open, and conducive to dialogue, encouraging everyone to contribute their best, thus amplifying the group's overall output. To truly excel in collaborative endeavors, adopting the giver's mindset is key. This approach not only enhances the group's performance but also inspires a culture of hard work and high-quality output, effectively multiplying the team's success. Assessing impact Adam grant describes givers as individuals who have a unique approach to recognizing and nurturing talent. They optimistically see potential in everyone and treat each person as a bloomer, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy loop. This approach involves setting high expectations and creating conditions that allow individuals to exert effort and flourish. For example, c.J. Skender, a renowned accounting professor at duke university, views every new student as talented and works to bring out the best in each one, resulting in many of his students earning medals in national exams to become certified public accountants. The debate over whether exceptional performance is due to raw talent or motivation has been ongoing. Studies of world-class musicians, scientists, and athletes suggest that many exceptional performers don't initially stand out but gain an advantage through more practice than their peers. Givers are particularly good at motivating people to continue practicing until they improve. They make learning enjoyable, show special interest in individuals, provide praise and encouragement, build grit, and cultivate a self-motivated interest in the subject. Givers also avoid overinvesting in people, unlike takers who struggle to admit mistakes and often escalate commitments due to sunk costs. Givers are more concerned about the organization than their egos, readily admitting mistakes, de-escalating commitments, and moving on, leading to more rational and generally better long-term decisions. They are also more open to feedback and suggestions, delegate more often, and incorporate input from specialists, enhancing decision quality. Their interest in others and loyalty also means givers excel at personal development, identifying raw talent and bringing out the best in individuals. A notable example is basketball general manager stu inman, who assembled a roster of lower-round draft picks into a team that won the nba title in 1978, showcasing the effectiveness of the giver approach. Expanding influence Individuals with a "taker" mindset often aim to assert dominance when influencing others. They tend to communicate forcefully, raise their voices, and present their ideas with absolute certainty, taking pride in their strong convictions. Takers try to persuade by leveraging their power and authority, and they typically avoid showing any weakness that could diminish their control. In contrast, those with a "giver" mindset engage in what's known as "powerless communication," which, despite its name, can be a highly effective way to persuade. Givers aren't afraid to show vulnerability. They openly share their weaknesses, which, once their competence is established, can actually increase their prestige and endear them to their audience, potentially leading to more support. Givers also prefer to ask questions rather than deliver a monologue of solutions. By engaging others in dialogue and focusing on their interests and desires, they build trust. This method allows others to express their own needs, which can lead to self-persuasion. Moreover, givers often communicate tentatively, using verbal cues like hesitations, hedges, disclaimers, tag questions, and intensifiers. These signals indicate a respect for the other person's opinion and a willingness to collaborate rather than command. Lastly, givers are not hesitant to seek advice and help. They approach interactions not from a position of unilateral strength but from one of cooperation and mutual benefit. Seeking advice can be especially powerful when authority is low, as it can foster empathy, flatter the advisee, and lead to more committed collaborative problem-solving. These elements of powerless communication may seem counterintuitive, but they can be very effective in establishing rapport, trust, and influence. They demonstrate a sincere interest in others and a preference for collaboration over domination. While not all givers use this style, those who do often discover it to be a potent tool in their interactions, be it in leadership, networking, or collaborative efforts.